I always ruin things
I know all time it is my mistake but what to do am really sad, scared and feel unsecured.
I did hurt him too much and i didn't give him the same care but if he still have in his heart little feelings i think he would give me chance maybe it will be the last or maybe he would never do :(
i feel that this is my big problem now i never feel or know the value of the thing except when it fades away as i didn't feel that my mum was so precious except when she gone, i never felt that failing in college is a big thing except when i stayed too long in college as today i had a big and hard feeling that i have lost the battle of a life by him leaving my life, it is hard to feel broken and specially from inside the last time i felt that was many years ago when i took maybe more years to be back to life but back with unsecured person and i think i will be like that for more years now.
I know he gave me much and i gave nothing but know am ready to give maybe it is too late or not late i dunno but i will wait and see and if i lost him so it wasn't meant to be for us to be together but deep i have never felt that broken inside like that but i wish him the good no the best ISA in life if he will be happy away like that wishing him all the best.
am sad and i know i ruin it all again :'(
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